oliviatamccue

about everything, anything or something

November: Thanks-and-Giving

This month, the sky has been grey in California and the air quality has been bad to the point that some days schools were closed and we were advised to work from home.  Some study claims that the air quality, as a result of Camp Fire, is equivalent to smoking 11 cigarettes.  If it is this bad hundreds of miles away from the fire, it is hard not to feel for those families who got displaced.  Rain comes later in the month, and brings some relief.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I volunteered in the CityTeam activities to help families to pick up bags of groceries, Turkey or Chickens for the upcoming days.   After three hours of lifting bags after bags, my arms and shoulder were sore, at the same time, it was rewarding to think about thousands of families having the ingredients for big meals over the holiday season.  My husband spared a day to learn how to fix bikes and help to fix bikes. Learning a skill takes effort, after a day, he fixed half of a bike. This Thanksgiving is special as my son is coming home for the holiday from his freshman year in college.

I read another book on running this month.  Many past years I had that new year wish to be able to run a mile, and failed.   A few of my acquaintances amazed me when they completed marathon run. I am still not much of a runner, I just keep trying and at one point in time, the body starts to respond better.  I can manage 2 to 3 miles of slow jogging on the treadmill two three times a week; and 5K is something I feel comfortable with. There were a few “breakthrough” moments. A few years ago, I was in a company which assigned  me a “health coach”, and the health coach got me install “C25K’ (Couch to 5K”) app on my phone, that was like giving me a tool or training plan, with a personal coach encouraging you along the way. With some success, I talked my family to do a 5K together on a New Year Day,  Needless to say, I was the one who needed to prepare for it months before; and was the slowest to complete the run, yet it was such a great memory. I could not pinpoint a specific moment when I started to feel very refreshed after each jog. Jogging becomes my path of a good cardiovascular exercise and a good day ahead.   I am still not much of a runner, but I am further along than before.

Many Lives, Many Masters, 20th anniversary edition
By Brian L. Weiss

Many Lives Many MastersThis book was recommended by a panelist in a career conference that I recently attended.   The panelist looks super contented as a person, and seems to know exactly what her purpose of life is.  Who would not admire having a North Star in a life journey?

This book is an account of  the patient-psychiatrist interactions in which the patient, in her hypnotised state, reminisce her many lives over the last thousands of years, and different lessons from masters as she transitions from death to another life.  Among the unbelievables, the patient was also able to recognize people in her current lives in her past lives. It is a book about reincarnation and a book on equal possibility in the pursuit of the final destiny.

We  are often skeptical and fearful towards things that do not comply with the framework of a rational mind.   Cited as the true story of a prominent psychiatrist, it still reads like a novel.

The book gives a lot to think about – if death does not do people apart, and is not the end, but a transition, what would we do differently in how we approach our daily life?

 

Run Forever: Your Complete Guide to Healthy Lifetime Running
By Amby Burfoot

Run foreverMy third book on running, after “What I talk about when I talk about running”  and “Born to Run”. Unlike the other two, this one is more a “how to” book from a Boston Marathon Champion.

It contains many practical tips for all level of runners, helping people to get started, good tips on diet, and work itself towards the more advanced training, and the adjustment required for our running as we age.    It is a complete guide to healthy lifetime running for all ages.

It is an enjoyable and good read for everyone whether he or she is a runner or not.   It is not just about running, but about how to live a good life both mentally and physically for as many years as possible.   

 

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September: transition

Early September, I was in Vancouver for a weekend visiting my brother’s family.  The sky was laden with overcast as the plane touched down. The city feels very clean, looks modern  and the traffic is not bad. It is a likeable city. Over the weekend, we visited the Stanley Park, Granville island and the Capilano Suspension Bridge park.  I enjoyed the gatherings and played our role as tourists. I like the city, but also feels that it is missing its energy, its prosperity and its own character. I wonder if living in Vancouver through the rainy season could be a depressing experience .

 

 

This September will be remembered as my transition to become an empty nester.

After helping our son to move in to his dorm in LA, my spouse and I had a great time visiting in the Getty Museum, then the two of us went home.   The term “empty nesting” did not quite reflect the sentiment I experienced in the first week after, I felt more like being granted “renewed freedom and extra time to spare” even though we always miss our children.   Living with teenagers is sometimes an energy sapping experience. When taking care of infants or young kids, it is physically exhausting but mentally uplifting as the babies make you feel so much needed. Teenagers give parents sprouts of helplessness when they choose to follow their ideas, and simply ignore the parental advice about healthy living, good work habits and important moral values.  It would have been not that bad if not for his injury that requires extensive physical therapy to maximize his recovery. I had some nights waking up exploring (mostly in vain) how to squeeze in more life lessons and healthy habits to my son. Now it is time for him to flap his wings to find his own path, and we become his supporting cast from this point onwards.

 

 

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第十年的情人節 (Traditional Chinese)
by 東野圭吾 (Keigo Higashino)

I enjoyed the clever plot of his long detective novel “The Devotion of Suspect X: A Detective Galileo Novel” by the author.

I had expected more clever murder cases from his new book.  To my surprise, this latest addition comprises of nine short stories.  Only two of the stories are related to murder cases. Each story is engaging, about human beings that we can relate to, about likeable characters and often about relationships that we care about such as paternal love, parenthood, friendship.

After all the years writing about detective stories, Keigo Higashino brings us back to the fundamentals when we look deep enough, many real life stories consist of clever plots and interesting twists too.   

I fully enjoy reading each of the nine stories.

 

Enlightenment Now : The case for reason, science, humanism and progress
By Steven Pinker

With enthuse praise of Bill Gates, this book has taken me quite a while to finish.  

It has three parts – I.  Enlightenment and what it is ;  II. Progress and III. Reason, Science and Humanism.

Part I and II contain humongous volumes of information, which prove beyond doubt that life has never been better than now in terms of progress towards life expectancy, maternal mortality, child mortality, poverty, diseases and maybe even happiness.

Human survival instinct tends to focus on the negative sides of many things, and modern journalists like to create drama out of bad news.   The author debunks those biases, and provides us convincing evidence our progress towards living longer, healthier, safer, richer and happier.

Part III reads like an extremely long persuasive article to convince reason, science and humanism over things like authoritarianism, magical thinking, irrationalist, fascism and theistic morality.  I find it taxing to follow along.

I enjoy Part I and II, but part III seems too academic and too full of different terminologies.

If you think the world is not getting better, this book is a must read to change your mind.

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My Reading List in June

I read almost all kinds of books (well, still trying to finish a book by Nora Roberts who wrote over 200 romantic novels).  Reading a good book before bed-time is something that I look forward to.

Istanbul – City of Majesty at the crossroads of the world
By Thomas F. Madden

A compelling narrative of the colorful history of the City, as a historical center over a thousand years, as a capital to multiple empires, as a focal point of Christianity and Islam.  The author skillfully unpack the sophisticated history into an absorbing read. It is a perfect read for anyone who plans to visit Istanbul; it is as much a book about history as a delightful read.

 

The Four – Hidden DNA of Amazon, Apple, Facebook and Google
By Scotty Galloway

This book starts with a summary how these four companies become not only dominant, but also omnipresent.  The author scrutinizes these companies, and asks deeper questions on how their successes affect the society, affect the economy, affect the job market and affect each one of us; some of the effects can be disturbing – would there be much less jobs?  would the middle class be squeezed out, leaving only the very rich and the poor? It explores potential companies that may compete with these four; and lists the personal success factors that would get you to the cream of the digital age. This book gives a provocative look at these companies whether you agree with the author’s point of view.

Even if you are not interested in these four companies, it would be worth to check out the “Personal Success Factors” to assess how to make a decent living in the digital age.

 

Everything happens for a reason
By Kate Bowler

Life is going on well for the author, then at thirty five, she was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer, facing imminent death.    This is her account of important people and events in her life, her religion, her family and her illness. In her darkest hours, the author keeps her humor, her bravery and her love of life; and continues to live courageously and to the maximum.

In the appendix, there is a short list  of “Absolutely never say this to people experiencing terrible times”

  • “Well, at least …”, “In my long life, I’ve learned that …”,”It’s going to get better, I promise.”, “God needed angel”, “Everything happens for a reason”, “I’ve done some research and … “, “When my aunt had cancer …”, “So how are the treatments going? How are you really?”;  

then a short list to try

  • “Can I give you a hug”, “Silence”, “I’d love to bring you a meal this week”,”I am so grateful to hear about how you’re doing and just know that I’m on your team”, “Oh, my friend, that sounds so hard.”

This book will lift you up if you or your close ones are going through terrible times.

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ADRIFT by Steven Callahan

AdriftAdrift : Seventy-Six Days Lost at Sea  

This book was mentioned in a book on recovery from illness, where one of the patients read this book every single day.   As I finished reading “Adrift”, I understood why the patient read this book as she was bound in her hospital bed.

The book is a first hand account of how the author fought for his life in an inflatable raft after his small sloop capsized only six days from port.  He was lost in the sea for 76 days as his raft floated 1800 miles before finally being rescued by a few fishermen near Guadeloupe.   Alone by himself,  he had to collect drinkable water, search for food, fix equipment breakdown, overcome sharks attacks, endure storms, live through physical pain and at times, depression.  Eight ships passed him by.  In those 76 days, he constantly fought for his life.  He resorted to find comfort and strength in his dreams about family, food, and water. 

The “lost at sea” journey delivers the author (and the book readers) a revelation.  Sometimes, we are adrift in life.  Sometimes, when our ideal does not match reality, we flee the reality. Sometimes, we cannot accept our own limitations as well as those of the people around us.  Through the ordeal, he learns that he is stronger than what he think he is, and he can accept his limitations while learning to compensate for them.

In his 76-day chronicle, there was detailed account how he lived his day, fixed the still, fixed his spear to be used as the only weapon to catch fish, and fixed the leaking of the raft tubes.  

What truly amazed was how he was occupied with fighting for his survival and how little he left time for despair.   Through the ordeal, he learns to live in harmony with the magic and the mystery of the sea.  It is his positive mindset that resonates and inspires the book readers.  It is one of the classics that lifts our spirit.  

Steven-Callahan-Journey-890x395_c

IMG_20180224_203829One day, I would come back to read it again and maybe again.

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Back to School

Summer months often start well, when my kids takes a break from school.  There is just that air of relaxation and even laziness when school, homework, grades and due dates are no longer topics of family dinners.   By early August, “back to school” starts to sound good to get the kids back to the groove.

This summer, I signed up for volunteering activities in a local non-profit community center which provides needy families with “back to school” supplies.  My role was to meet the family and take them to the storage room to choose a backpack and pick up some school supplies.  The whole process took less than 10 minutes for each family, and it served as such a reminder of these needy families around us.   In my childhood, my parents were equally anxious about the expenses incurred in school.  Education has been one of the most important mean to get out of the financial hardship. Decades after,  I could not manufacture the same hardship for my children – for their elementary school years, their back to school preparation was no more eventful than a trip to a retail store to get everything on the back-to-school supplies list.

back-to-school

This school year, I serve, as Registrar,  on the Board of a non-profit Chinese School.  This is a new experience, and there is such an amount of work to start a school year.  I have a deeper respect for the many school staff who does it year after year.  Such as

  • Order textbook, find a place to store the textbook.
  • Keep track of the student list.
  • Prepare 1st letter to families.
  • Mail the letter to the families
  • Mail email reminder to families.
  • Print map and student rosters on the first day of school
    Letters

It is a few days of work just to prepare the letters and address labels, print them, put the letter to the envelope with the right label, then adhere the stamps on envelopes, plus some hours to double check that the letter goes to the right envelope.

Technology sometimes disillusions us most things can be done by a push of button, and inadvertently instills a small disdain of tedious work.  It helps to be reminded that it is that someone doing some tedious work that make the world run smoothly.   

One day we may miss the number of hours that we spend in these back-to-school activities –  these hours reflect our willingness to exchange our time to make the back-to-school experience better for the parents and the students.

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Is Data-ism becoming a religion?

I came across the idea of Data-ism as the new religion in the book “A Brief History of Tomorrow”.  The novelty of the idea is intriguing, then a bit unsettling, just like we find out our pet has become our master.

Screenshot_20170604-100630The smart device (aka the “Computer”) is getting smarter. It may know you, more than any other human being, as it “effortlessly” read and remember your email content, your calendar, your whereabout, and all your online activities.    It can remember all your password too, which I highly suggest that you deny every time it asks for your permission.

Just a few years ago, at a Japanese restaurant, a worker bragged about a new App that could recommend the sashimi of the day.  Over the last couple of years, the Computer has served us even more personally.

For example, the “Computer” knows from my gmail that my daughter is flying in from Japan, and without asking, it gives the latest arrival time.  Oh, her flight is going to land ahead of schedule.   Around her new arrival time,  the Computer reminds it is time to pick her up based on the latest traffic condition.  In the car, the Computer guides with a map.  Not that long ago, missing a turn is very bad, not anymore, the Computer gives the new route effortlessly.  If an accident just happens, no problem, the Computer gives a new route and I trust it to be the fastest path.   I search for a flight to Alaska, the Computer picks up my need, and alerts me a cheaper airfare.  I mean, if I am searching for a flight to Alaska, it is logical that in that moment, I am thinking of a visit.  The Computer is so thoughtful that it starts to show Ads (Advertisement) about vacation in Alaska and all the other travel ideas.   This is transformational that it turns the life-long negative perception towards Ads to a positive experience by showing relevant Ads.   Ads is no longer an interruption from what we are watching, it is becoming relevant and more interesting than what we have been watching.
auto reply
Did you notice that Gmail could suggest responses to incoming email?  Like many new features, I was impressed and was itched to use it and tell people about it.   As I accept or ignore the suggested responses, the Computer learns about it and next time, it would come up with a response that is even more thoughtful.

Because the Computer is so helpful in organizing our life, we love it, and willingly empower it.  If we pride ourselves in our ability to connect, think and learn, the Computer is superior in every way.  It is omnipresent and will soon be all-knowing.  Our judgement is giving ways to decisions largely influenced if not made by the Computer.

IMG_20170506_143818Next time, when you install an App, and it asks for permission access, what would you do? We could struggle to yield until we believe.  Just like how we turn a non-believer into a believer.

I still enjoy my senses and the beauty of our nature; and am humbled by my limitation.

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Good Reads

The Undoing Project by Michael Lewis, A friendship that changed our minds
By Michael Lewis
(How a Nobel Prize-winning theory of the mind altered our perception of reality)
Two remarkable academic figures Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky, two contrasting personalities, and as they came together, they worked as a non-separable single mind and brought us a series of breathtakingly original studies undoing our assumptions of how people think.  Their discoveries of systematic bias in human thinking fundamentally change not only the field of psychology but also economics, corporate hiring and medical studies.   Michael knit such a beautiful story of their research and friendship over the years, as the two went through dramatic life experiences from Israel to United States, from universities to wars.  A very enjoyable and memorable read.

Evicted by Matthew Desmond
This is one of those books that take you face-to-face to very poor people and conditions way outside of your comfort zone.  “Evicted”  describes vividly the poverty in the American City of Milwaukee and the stories of eight families on the edge; and at the same time the profit of landlords in these inner cities.  Poor families, being on the move, not only lose their basic needs of shelter; they also lose jobs, friends and securities and have to overcome the physical and mental scar from the evictions.  Without a home, everything falls apart.  As the author wrote at the end, “Each one reminds me how gracefully they refuse to be reduced to their hardships.  Poverty has not prevailed against their deep humanity”.    

These people would soon be forgotten and out of my and many readers’ minds. Until then, I would like to spread the words,  remember their stories and take the time to think about how everyone can meet their very basic needs for a shelter.  You can learn more about their stories:  www.justshelter.org.

Homo Deus – A brief history of tomorrow by Yuval Noah Harari.
In the last few hundred years, humankind has turned the forces of nature – namely, famine, plague, into manageable challenges.  What will be on the human agenda?  What destinies will we set for ourselves?  

Would computer technology and genetic engineering push us towards more prowess or the downfall of our species?   Is data-ism becoming the religion of our times?  And would our relationship with animals model the future relationship between computer and humankind?  Would the humankind be at the discretion of the new computer-human hybrids?

The book covers such a breadth and depth of many topics relevant to our life.  It entertains, captivates and creates new perspective in our everyday activities.  Regardless what your belief is for the history, the technology and the future; or simply your interaction with the smartphones, this book will have something for you to contemplate!   

pope francisPope Francis Ted Talk
It is a Ted Talk, and totally worth the few minutes of every one.
“Why the only future worth building includes everyone?”
“Why them, not me?”.

 

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十年的堅持

女兒到外洲上大學差不多兩年了,每星期都會打電話回家,相隔兩地,四個半小時飛機,或長話短說或短話長說,這些通話是我們生活的點綴。wvcls

女兒五歲開始上西谷中文學校,一直到她高中三年,因學業太忙,而沒有繼續。要孩子學習中文是少數迫孩子要做的課外學習。在女兒角度,中文學習不是她的選擇,而是爸媽的和她的刻苦。為什麼我們會希望孩子讀中文呢?每個家庭的背景大概不同。我們的堅持源自1)延續文化 2)學習中文是給孩子未來的禮物 3)與香港維持一點的聯繫。

開始幾年,她還小,又害羞,回憶中我常陪她上課。女兒留心聽書,記憶力好,雖然不多說話,但是成績很好,差不多每年都名列三甲。那時的學業優異獎是在全校畢業禮宣報的,老師忙與盼獎,得獎學生的家長忙與為孩子照相,好不熱鬧。後來好像是覺得這安排會令沒有IMG_20170423_215925得獎的學生們失望,也為了節省畢業禮時間,之後都是在班房內各班老師分發成績表的。女兒不多說話,有幾年中文演講比賽明明她準備了很好的故事,臨場又不願意站出來,令人無奈。書法比賽倒是得了一些獎吧。  小學時候,她在中文學校拿到的獎滿多呢。

到女兒大一點,每年四月開始為下學年報名前後,就像如履薄冰, 費盡心思,最後說報咗名哪。我後來加入學校校董會,於是媽媽也每星期上中文學校,她和兒子好像接受了安排,這樣又延續幾年。直到高中三年,看她學業真辛苦,我們才隨她,差一年她沒有在中文學校畢業,是有少少的遺憾。後來女兒又為中文學校五十週年活動中製作短片,也算跟中文學校延續另一年的關係。

上大學後,女兒每星期會用廣東話和我通電話,偶爾會用短訊溝通,短訊是要寫的,一直是用英文的。幾個月前,她寫了一封短訊新年快樂」,之後又會寫「情人節快樂可不可以今晚九點半打電話?」等等

大部分有意義的人事都是需要時間,積累成果,過程不一定是平坦的,也不一定容易的。我還是希望十多年的堅持會有回報吧!各位家長加油啊。

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A refreshing read : “Quiet” by Susan Cain

In this era of internet of things, we “google” for answers, “whatsapp” to be social and “youtube” to express. We have shorter attention span and less patience; and with more information, there are more things to share than more time to listen to others’ sharing.

Thousands of years of Chinese/Eastern teaching talks about developing important character traits such as humbleness, subtlety, persistence and altruism. Fast forward with western culture shaping the world, the character focus has shifted to personality focus.

This book “QuietQuiet : The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking”, by Susan Cain, is a refreshing read. Susan quietly writes about the behavior, the thought process and world-changing contribution of that quieter half of the world population.  It gives explanation on how introverts and extroverts function; and offers insights to readers of any personalities.

“Quiet” talks about the rise of extroversion as a cultural (personality) ideal, with life examples from Dale Carnegie to the author’s personal experience in Tony Robbins’ events.  It attempts to answer questions like “Are personality a result of nature or nurture?”  It talks about different biology reaction, thought process and behavior between introverts and extroverts; follow with vivid stories of contrasting personality between Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt; and the different behaviors leading to Wall Street Crash and the folks who thrive in the Crash. boldshy

There is a chapter on the soft power of “quiet” introvert, and a deeper dive into the cultural values outside of US, including perspective of scholarly students with Asian-heritage in US high schools and their challenges in fitting into college where speaking-up, social interaction and group thinking are “demanded”.

Just as extroverts make charismatic leaders and make many contributions, introverts are making great contributions to the society from Van Gogh and his paintings to Wozniak and the invention of personal computer.

The book finishes with case studies on how to love and work with/within your and others’ personalities.

If you are among those who are curious about different personalities (including your own); or simply to learn to work and love one of them, you would enjoy reading the research, the analysis and the stories of “Quiet”.  I am surprised this book has not made more noise, but maybe it is not a surprise when many prizes extrovert just a little bit more.ambivert

 

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A PATH APPEARS – change lives for the better

Like many,A path appears I contribute to some non-profit organizations, and have been a World Vision child sponsor for many years.  More recently, I realize the responsibility to go from easy act of giving to more thoughtful consideration to give where it creates impact I care about.

If you are interested in changing lives for the better including your own, you would love this book “A path appears” by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn.

In this world of unequal opportunities contributed no less by the lottery of birth, the book offers, the best I have seen, a path on how to help those who lose at the birth draw.

With Cure-Violence to combat inner-city conflicts in the United States by applying principle of epidemiology; or organization which brings in older Americans to tutor students in public school across the country, it gives a catalog of opportunities to support babies to teens, from combating inner-city challenges to transforming slums in Kenya.  The true stories are riveting and convincing how small acts of individual can make life-changing impacts to others.

I love the refreshingly bold section that talks about challenges in managing non-profit organizations and at times competition among them.  Recently, I read about peA path appears 2ople stop donating to a non-profit organization as they consider the CEO got a high pay (when it was pretty low compared to the business world). There is expectation that people associated with non-profit initiatives should be sacrificial.  Such undermines abilities to attract best talent and create pressure to cut corners in the administration of non-profit organizations.  Should we judge instead the impacts the organization make or not make?

The third and last section sums up to “help others help ourselves”.  It echoes a childhood learning that helping is the origin of happiness.  If altruism has a mixed record of success, it has an almost perfect record of helping ourselves.

If you just want to spare a minute on the topic, the last page lists six steps to take in the next six minutes.

Another on my reading list: “Half the Sky” from the same authors.

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